12 Months

Dear Elle,

Yesterday you turned one year old. You are certainly growing up fast but when I think back to all the things you have accomplished in one year, it's been an amazing and very full year. Last weekend we moved over to the house on the lake and what a day that was. You learned to walk in almost the exact moment that Daddy threw out his back and couldn't get off the floor. For two days he laid on his back while we moved around him and while you walked and walked and stepped over him and kept walking because you weren't about to let him get in your way. A few days before that you started taking a few steps at a time and then you would fall or grab onto the couch or coffee table or our bench seat at our old house. And within 2 days you were fully walking, taking 15 or more steps at a time, and shortly after that you adding clapping and talking while you walk and then just yesterday you were looking at pictures on my Iphone while you were walking around. World, lookout.

On your birthday we had a huge birthday pizza party for you at a restaurant and all your little friends and family were there. Nana and Papa made the trip down from NY just for your special day and it was a pretty big deal. Grandma played some songs for you and your friends on her guitar and Uncle Paul and Auntie Traci put on a little show with puppets and helped to make a band by handing out some tambourines and drums to all the little kids. You thought it was pretty fun to see your very own Grandma up there singing songs just for you guys. I heard you telling Amanda and Jilly in your own baby talk, 'Yeah, I totally know her.' Amanda was into shaking her sillies out at the time but she smiled and nodded letting you have your moment of glory, I mean, it was your birthday and everything.

We got you some big balloons (which you love, by the way, and the other day we were out shopping and i let you hold a giant bunch of them which you promptly let go up to the ceiling of the store while yelling woooooooo and then we just nonchalantly pushed our cart away, fleeing from the scene while we giggled but then you realized that you lost your purple balloons so you were kinda mad so i got you some for your birthday.) Yesterday at your birthday party you had your very first cupcake and you really didn't love it like I thought you would. Apparently I don't know everything. I had imagined you would go face first into the hot pink frosting, eating up all the sugary goodness and squealing about this fantastic baked masterpiece but you just rolled the cupcake from hand to hand examining all the different surfaces of this strange little ball of cake with the very sticky top and then I thought I would help you by cutting it into a few pieces so you could taste it, but Noooooo, that was the very wrong thing to do and you let me and everyone know by screaming and screaming at the fact that I broke your very special cupcake. World, lookout.

You are saying a few words pretty clearly now, like Dada and Night Night and socks. I think you say ball and sometimes you say something that sounds like ut-oh. You don't say mama yet but that's okay. I'm waiting for it.

The other day you were saying goodbye to Grandpa and I told you to blow him a kiss and you did for the first time and he almost fell down and let his heart pour out like maple syrup onto the sidewalk. He was so happy, i could see in his face that he loves you so much and his heart had just melted and was all gooey inside his chest.

You have brought so much love into our lives and into our hearts in a way that I could never imagined before I met you. Every time you reach out to me for a hug or take my finger to take me on a walk or giggle because I said something silly that you think is funny I know you were meant just for us and I was meant to be your mommy. We didn't realized how much we were missing, until we had you.

Happy First Birthday, Elle!
Love,
Mommy

treasure

Dear Helena,
Today you are just over 6 weeks old. You are very tall for your age and yesterday we met a little girl named Genevieve who was three months old and you could have shared clothes with her. You are going to be tall, like your mommy, and being tall rocks. I remember in high school, i could see over all the short girls in the bathroom mirror. I can’t imagine what you will be like when you go to high school, because right now you are my little peanut, you are sitting in your bouncy chair with your peaceful baby onesie on and you are just chilling, watching me type on the laptop. Dad turned the vibration on for your chair cause you like it, he calls it “your jigglies”.

This weekend is memorial day. Dad is home for 3 whole days and we are very excited. we are getting ready to go to Gay City State Park with lunch and your stroller. Your first picnic! We have been talking walks every morning, you and I, around the neighborhood, to the post office, doing little errands. We listened to NPR yesterday on my Ipod and you fell asleep within the first three minutes. I know, that is how I used to feel about NPR, too, but it grows on you. I remember all the times last year and the year before that i used to run around the neighborhood training for races, dreaming about you, praying for you. I would push myself to run and run and run a little bit further, a little bit faster, knowing that I could to it, knowing that running was hard work and waiting for you was also hard work but life is hard and it can’t be all daisy and lollipops all the time.

Yesterday auntie traci was here, she came to see you because she misses you so much now that she moved over an hour away. You had a grand old time with her, and I got to clean out the garage which i have wanted to do for a year. We went to whole foods for gelato which i could tell you wanted to taste, but you are too small yet, so I tried to hide mine so you wouldn’t feel bad. You smiled at us the whole time. when we were sitting at the cafe, a woman came up to us and said, “isn’t she just a treasure?” about you and I emphatically agreed, yes, she is, she really is such a sweet baby and we are so lucky to have her. it melts me when people say things like that, it’s like she could feel the energy we have for each other and she could tell that are just the center of my universe.

You have started to lift up you head lots now, and you can turn it from side to side at your whim. You have also started to recognize toys and things hanging off your car seat and your bouncy chair. You look at them and sometimes you smile at them. It will only be a short time before you start to realize that you have hands and you can reach out and touch them.

Update on the world: a few weeks ago, the United States Special Operations had killed Osama Bin Laden, who was responsible for the attack on the World Trade Center 11 years ago, that killed over 2000 people. I am sure you will learn about this in school, but us, we lived through it, what a dark time for the world and especially Americans.  Everyone blamed George Bush for attacking Iraq in the first place, saying they had weapons of mass destruction, which he never found, but instead caused such a senseless war.  some of our men and women are still over in Iraq and often I see people protesting the war on the side of the road with signs to “bring our soldiers home”. I can tell already, you won’t want any part of that.  You are such a lover and peaceful and sweet child. When the towers fell, your mom and dad had been dating for just a few months and we would sit around on the brown couches at Daddy’s apartment and watch the news every night, all night long, as they looked for survivors in the rubble. We just couldn’t believe what had happened.

Last night i put your to bed in your little bassinet at the foot of our big bed. you make a lot of noises while you are sleeping, grunts and coos and sometimes you clear your throat or suck on your hand and make little slurping noises.  you were particularly quiet for some time, so i thought you surely must be asleep, and i peeked down to the end of the bed and after my eyes adjusted to the darkness, i saw you, and your teeny little eyes, blinking back at me in the darkness. You are such a treasure, and i remember that every time I see your little eyes looking back at me.
Love,
Mommy